I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker who is 37 weeks pregnant with her first kid (I personally think she’s going to give birth to a 4 year-old – this womans belly freakin’ huge!) She’s in the countdown phase right now; she only has a few days left of work and then it’s off to maternity leave. Something about pregnant women: they just love to talk about gross intimidate pregnancy details with fellow parents (dads included) about 'the boobs', marshmallow feet, pains in weird places, etc… they would never say stuff like this to non-parents. But I don’t mind, it’s funny to me. I’m a veteran of it all.
Anyway like any conversation people have with me, I get easily sidetracked:
PregMom: …the guy who does my nails told me….
Me: what? ‘the guy’ - a guy does your nails?
PregMom: …yes, so anyway, he was telling me that when his wife was pregnant…
Me: Hold on - he’s married, has a kid, and he does nails?
PregMom: Yes, and really good pedicures too! He’s the best in the shop.
Me: I’ve never heard of that. I wonder what his wife thinks about that?
PregMom: She really likes it, she get her nails done all the time. And he makes a lot of money.
Me: I bet he tells ‘the guys’ he paints houses, or Ferrari’s – ya’ know “Man Jobs”. I couldn’t do that for any amount of money. Unless, of course, I wore a mask and a cape, and had a Darth Vader voice changer box to hide my identity. Then it could be possible - but I would have to make a whole lot of money.
(Silence and blank stare)
PregMom: I’m feeling pretty sorry for your wife and daughter right now.
Moms? Is there such a thing? I’ve never heard of this. My only knowledge of this is (1) from my wife who goes to a spa once in awhile - but she would feel a little weird if a straight guy were working on here nails or feet. (2) My one straight pal who gets his man-manicure down at the Peaches and Cream (but he'll never reveal his secret of soft hands.)