Who’s That Sexy Man In The Mirror With That Shiny 'Iced' Gold Grill?


I guess I can reveal my secret to everybody since Dad Gone Mad revealed his. I’m getting braces in a few weeks, but unfortunately not the kind I want: a gold grill with diamonds that read “Who’s Yo’ Daddy” - the wife doesn’t think that’ll go over well because “technically” I’m not everybody’s daddy.

My bottom teeth got a little bad after I kept making excuses for 11 years about getting my wisdom teeth taken out (sidenote- why in the world are they called that "wisdom teeth"?!) and when I finally did get them removed, the aftermath wasn't so pleasant. I'm a little annoyed at the prospect, you'd think in the year 2006 dentist would be able to use 'lasers' or something to straighten teeth in 10 minutes or less, and then rush home to dinner in a flying car.

I’d like to think there are a lot more adults getting braces these days, but in reality there probably isn’t (actually, I don’t know, I haven’t been paid 2 million dollars the government to do a study – but I am open to the idea.) Braces have this stigma of being a 'teen-thing', so of course I’m not announcing it to people (only strangers). Thankfully somebody invented some invisible-braces (well plastic toy-looking ones, without the vampire teeth) so people don’t know your little secret and can’t tell your wearing anything- kind of like those women in those tampons commercials jumping around in white shorts on the beach during their periods.

So my scientific work begins (without millions of dollars), do any of you adults wear braces? Any with these 'Invisaligns' ?