My Dentist IS The Muppets Swedish Chef In Drag
At least that’s my belief at the moment. I was there over 2 hours getting ‘teeth impressions’ for those Invisalign braces that I’ll soon be sporting (minus the gold, diamonds, fiber-optic lighting effects, etc.) She had to redo it 11 times (yes, 11) because (1) her hands kept pushing too hard when she was saying something about the IRS. (2) She was too busy noticing the new tattoo (in addition to the 50) on her pregnant assistants arm. (3) She was possibly a little sauced at 8:30 A.M. If you remember, I have a very odd suspicion that she may be a heavy drinker since she slurs like the late great James Brown, smells like Hennessy, and I can’t understand what she’s saying half the time.
I Really Want That Apple iPhone
I like toy gadgets. Really “shiny” ones that can do everything (even change the car oil and cure the sick) - a lot. And I like to be the first to get them. I guess this behavior stems from my childhood. Growing up, I hardly ever got what I wanted for Christmas or my birthday. When all the other kids were getting Colecovisions or the original Nintendo, I got stuff like board games (or what I referred to at the time as “bored” games) and underwear with monkeys on them (at 14.)
Like the late-great Colonel Sanders once said, “I’m too drunk to finish this chicken”
I've been working late nights at the J.O.B. since returning from Florida. Now, I’m pretty much working 7 days a week for the next 3 weeks. The negative side is coming home late - which pretty much sucks for me, my wife, and daughter. The only plus side is the fine food from local fancy restaurants they’ve been feeding us (I had sushi and oysters on the half-shell tonight...!) But in reality, nothing beats sharing KFC with my daughter who loves the novelty of chicken in a bucket... just like me.
It’s "De-Lurking Week" and nobody sent me chocolate
If you lurk around these parts, come into the light and say something in the comments. If you don’t know what to say, tell me who's your favorite Spice Girl (real or imaginary...)
New tricks the daughter is doing these days
Instead of saying, “move” or “excuse me” if you’re in her way, she squeaks “BEEP-BEEP” (like a car horn) - she got that habit from her mom. She carries around a miniature KFC bucket of chicken and says “Chick-EN!” real loud – she got that habit from her mom. She talks a million miles-a-minute, most of it is unintelligible, but you can pick out some words – she got that from our Dentist.