What do the women want today? $80 Flowers (that normally go for $12 any other day, like tomorrow, but we buy anyway), romantic poems (thank God for the internet), expensive jewelry (that doesn't have ‘cubic’ in the name), flat-screen plasma TV in the bathroom (well, not really, that’s just a really cool idea...)
Men are easy. We just want the women to show up naked with food – preferably a bucket of KFC (the 'spicy' kind.)
I actually created something sentimental for my wife today, which took some time to make and I can't reveal just in case she reads this.
Today a co-worker came into work a few hours late looking like her car exploded with her in it. She’s a fellow parent with 2 kids, one about the same age as my daughter and a son who is 3 or 4.
When she took her son to preschool this morning one of the teachers had asked, “Where are his Valentines? All of the kids NEED to bring Valentines for everybody…”
Nobody said anything, no warning note, nothing (she skipped that chapter in the handbook, the one on "Valentines for preschoolers".) She then grabbed her son, got into the car and headed to the local Walgreens where the only Valentines left were Care-Bears and Dora (her son wanted Spider-Man and cried because they were out or they don't exist.) She then spent some time writing all the kids names on the cards (all 40-something) in the parking lot of the preschool. When she showed up with her crying son there were other parents walking in with fancy little hand-tied bags of candies and cookies with little homemade cards, along with fancy gifts (flowers, baskets, Versace bags, etc.) for the teachers and assistants.
When she was finished I said:
“When your kid is in prison at 17, it’s because of this.”
And then handed her a handmade goodie bag of truffles and filet mignon (...I wish.) I am not looking forward to 'the school' years.