Yes, I know I haven’t posted in awhile. When the kid is recovering the world slows to a crawl; and when some in-law visits while the kid is sick – the world stops (and a giant magnifying glass appears…)
The wife’s sister came out for a visit over the weekend from Georgia-bama (my term used for inhabitants on the border of Georgia and Alabama), which always makes for an interesting time. The majority of in-laws live in rural areas of the Midwest/South. As with any in-law visit, it always seems we’re been examined by everything we do or say so they can go home and tell everybody about it (or worse – blog about it.)
They view us (I should rephrase that - ‘me’) as some kind of circus freak who isn’t like them. I’m not sure exactly why that is after all these years – I breathe and eat chicken from a bucket just like them.
After some reflection I think this stems from the first time I met the wife’s family a long time ago, ‘the men’ were in the TV room and ‘the women’ in the kitchen. With a shove by the pre-mrs, I went to join the herd of men sitting in front of the TV with something called “Foot-ball” on:
Future In-Law #1: (quick glance at me, then eyes on TV) Who’s your team?
Me: My ‘team’? That would definitely have to be the “A” Team… (big smile, ‘thumbs up’)
(TV mysteriously silenced, all eyes on me like I’m Richard Simmons holding a raw hotdog and gripping a sparkler from my butt cheeks)
(TV resumes life, all eyes on TV)
Future In-Law #2: You a “Buck”, ”Eyes” fan?
Me: Buck-eyes? What’s that?
(*gasps* even from the young children in the room -- Really, really uncomfortable LONG silence….)
Future In-Law #1 to #2: (loud whisper) What’s wrong with this guy?
So now anything I do is freaky ‘she-at’, even if I eat a cookie.
When asked what antibiotic my daughter was taking, I said Red-Bull and vodka. And we split it.
I can’t wait to hear what they all think of that!