The Questions 2-Year Olds Ask And How NOT To Answer


My daughter has been very inquisitive these days - she's always asking me questions such as “What are you doing Dad-DEE?”, “What’s that Dad-DEE?” It’s almost like having my own Cousin Balki. A few of my recent favorites:

Daughter: (pointing to the evening sky) What’s that, Dad-DEE?
Me: That’s a star. And it’s not in rehab
Daughter: A TAR!?! (excited)

Daughter: (pointing to a person) What’s that, Dad-DEE?
Me: That’s a man wearing a dress, you can tell because he has an Adams apple and mustache.
Daughter: A MUSTACHE!? (excited)

Daughter: (pointing to Christmas decorations at the mall - in October!!) What’s that, Dad-DEE?
Me: That’s Santa Claus. He brings presents on Christmas for everybody that goes pee-pee and poopy on the potty
Daughter: PRESS-ANTS!? (excited)

Daughter: What are you doing Dad-DEE? (playing this new Pirates game on the computer)
Me: If mommy asks, I’m paying bills
Daughter: BILLS!? (excited)

Daughter: What are you doing Dad-DEE? (honking the horn at some car that almost hit me)
Me: I’m honking the horn at that lady because she’s on crack!
Daughter: CRACK?

If she starts telling people they’re on crack the wife is going to shoot me…(again)