Showing posts with label Neighbors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Neighbors. Show all posts

The Crazy 4-Year-Old Thinks She Owns The Place, But The Parents Are Cool


I’m not one to complain about other people’s kids much…. well, to be honest that’s a lie – maybe once in awhile.

The neighbors on my cul-de-sac are really nice people; the wife and I seriously couldn’t have been luckier (except for that one house, with the teenager and his guitar problem...)

We do stuff with them on occasion like wine paired potlucks, block parties with grilled oysters and martini’s, tapas and sangria, pho and some type of asian moonshine (ain’t no hot dogs and Bud light around these parts! Except maybe for the kids…)
Living in L.A. where you can live in a house for 30 years and not even once speak to the people next door, we struck gold.

Then there’s the 4-year-old next door. Now there’s a reason to close the garage immediately after pulling in with the car running, and a reason to lock the front door.

Just today when I got home and got out I hear a soft, but bold voice:

“Where’s Gillian?”
(Me looking up to the sky "God, Jesus,... Oprah...?" Then looking down - the little girl from next door with a very serious look on her face...)

Me: Hi Paige, she’s inside eating dinner and then she has to go to bed….
(She just walks inside the house from the garage…)

Great. How am I going to get rid of her this time?
Now my daughter just turned 2 last month -- is that even old enough to have kids knocking on the door asking “can (blah-blah) come out to play?” Or did I miss that chapter in my parenting manual?

For about 5-10 minutes I hear laughing and feet stomping upstairs from my daughters room (well, it can’t be all that bad, today…)
And then crying,...from mine. Everything was pulled out of every imaginable drawer, closet, new toys (for kids over 3 we never opened that were once hidden and boxed..)

“What’s the matter?”

Daughter: Paige won’t SHARE!....BAD PAIGE!!!

Me: Play nice you two, OK?

Paige: She’s not doing what I’m telling her to do….

Me: That’s because she’s 2 years-old, she doesn’t understand.

Paige: Well that’s why she needs to listen to me!

(pause)

Me: I think I hear your Dad calling you…

(please take the bait..."use the force...")

I walked her back to her house. And then 30 minutes later my daughter starts telling me she wants to play with Paige again.

O.k. fellow parents, help…!
How do you deal with pushy kids like this? The parents are cool, but they always just casually mention after their kid walks into my house “just walk her back over when the kids are done playing.”
I just can’t respond with “No, your daughter opens every imaginable drawer and closet in my house, makes my daughter cry, and I think she’s tracking dog poop under her feet into my house”
“Oh and by the way, are we still making sangria for the Labor day party...?”

Wanted: Somebody To Discreetly Take Away The New Drum Set The Neighbor Kid Just Got


Actually, I think I just want to hire some muscle or “Dog: the Bounty Hunter.” I don't care what it costs - take my MINI Cooper (the oil changes are freakin' expensive anyway, and I don't even want to know what it cost to change the brakes.) This kid needs to be stopped!

Our new obnoxious neighbors just keep getting worse. We use to live in what we considered the 'best neighborhood this side of the Mississippi' or this side of 'the 5' (L.A. reference.)
The neighbors are great, most have kids (we have one too), we watch each others pets while gone, we have block parties on major summer holidays. Everybody gets along, drinks respectable wine, and we have quite a diverse set of families. Sure, the wife and I aren't 100% completely happy with our house, we would like more space and the yard is small, but we're fine with it - because it's hard to find good neighbors.

Enter the new "family". Essentially a porn producer, his teenage son, and his girlfriend (actually she's no 'girl' anymore...) She’s this middle-aged Asian woman with a bad boob job (size DD & D), dresses like Lindsay Lohan (just wrong, especially on this woman) and has some weird eyelid surgery thing going on which makes her look like a Muppet with heavy makeup (or a really bad transvestite that just walked away from a train accident.) Oh, and did I mention she owns some massage parlors around town (so I've heard...)
I’m not even going to start on the dude of the house.

O.K. I understand these people need to make a living to pay for their big fancy hoopty SUV's and LCD TV's in their gold trimmed bathroom, right? I get that. But they're not to nicest people; they're really rude to everybody and make no qualms about it, even to the point of blocking driveways.
Then they give the kid a drum set and let him play at 10pm with the window open. What's wrong with this world!?

While taking out the trash cans tonight, I saw a box for an electric guitar. Just great - I'm guessing he's scoring his dad's films with that "chika-chika, waa-waa" music...

This is no place to raise a kid.