Stuff Is Missing Much More Often


There was this one episode of the Brady Bunch where Tiger, the dog, takes the kids’ (and Alice’s) stuff and hides everything in his doghouse. I think my daughter saw that episode.

Yesterday while washing the dishes a spider appeared out of nowhere on the kitchen counter and then Para jumped towards the family room (I’m convinced this spider was born from toxic chemicals from under the sink because he was the size of a cat and had human hair). After I screamed like a girl I grabbed a nearby shoe to smash it back to toxic hell. I eventually followed it to the family room (about a 15 mile run for spiders) and it ran under the couch. Once I took care of business my wife noticed something odd. Not the human eye the spider had or the scream it let out, but rather a lot of stuff that we had thought lost or accidentally threw away hidden under the couch. Books, cards, keys, etc. all pushed under the couch by our daughter. What I don’t get, how could we have not seen this? She’s never really alone (or is she?)

I’m not sure if I like this. What happens if she gets really good at hiding stuff? What kind of stuff will she be hiding when she’s a teen? Booze, Boys, Crack, Kevin Costner videos? I draw the line at Kevin Costner!! (No daughter of mine…)

I forgot what the Brady’s did to make Tiger stop. Maybe, if they had the choice, they would have played more Baby Einstein? Or maybe there are some subliminal messages in those videos telling toddlers to find all mommy and daddy’s valuables and send them to Cuba.