Funny? I Didn’t Know I Was ‘Disabled’ or ‘Handicapped’?


Maybe now DMV will give me one of those placards so I can park in those parking spaces?

There’s this freaky woman, maybe late 30’s early 40’s, at work that is one of our writers. She’s a mother of a 6-year old, and is really weird and very hippie (but not in a good stylish way). Both her parents are grad professors at a local “elite” school, which explains a lot of her kookiness (Her parents: “over-educated”. She's told me stories of how they use to do things like dress her as a boy - or 'gender-neutral clothes'- told her the world was going to run out of food in 1977, and they probably had something against using conditioner in hair). Most of us just kind of pass her off as "a little goofy", no big deal - it’s people like her that make work (and the world) more interesting to talk about.

So yesterday I’m in the kitchen “nuking” my lunch, she came in while I was stirring my grub with a fork, in my left hand-



Crazy Hippie: Oh my gosh, you’re left-handed!

Me: Yup, all my life….

Crazy Hippie: Did you know that’s a HUGE physical and mental deformity…

Me: Whaaa?

Crazy Hippie:….human’s are suppose to be right-handed, the brain is (blah, blah, blah)…. Left-handers have a very documented history of mental anguish and usually die very early because the world isn’t made for them. I made sure my daughter NEVER used her left-hand. How do you deal with this? Are you making sure your daughter doesn’t use her left-hand? You wouldn’t want her to be handicapped her whole life too...!

Me: (blank stare, then smile). So if I destroy you now I can blame it on my left-handedness? (chuckle)




What kind of medieval things is this woman reading? Next thing you know she’ll be giving me leeches if I have a headache.
As for my daughter, we’re still not quite sure if she’s 'lefty' or a 'righty'. She just sort of uses whichever hand is closest to whatever she’s grabbing. She doesn't discriminate. But if she ultimately decides to be a lefty, that’s fine with me.