This morning before leaving for work, I made a quick stop to the bathroom with the door partially open and went about my business. I usually don’t leave the door open just because I’m private like that and these days the wife and I have been in potty training mode with the daughter (I don’t want to confuse her.)
While relieving myself, eyes up on a spider web on the ceiling corner, humming a little Bee-Gee’s tune (don’t ask), I hear a small voice beside me “Da-DEE??” There’s my daughter, standing right next to me, holding her blanket, eyes popped out with a confused look on her face as if I just pulled a monkey out of my butt (and maybe an Doodlebop too.)
(…don’t scare her, be calm, no big deal…)
I was scrambling to finish-up midstream and at the same time a little angry that I drank so much juice earlier…
Me: Where’s mommy? Go to mommy – mommy has some crackcorn, I mean 'popcorn'… or cookies…
Daughter: “I want UP! – I want UP!” (running into me with arms up) I waaaant UPPPPPPP!!!”
Me: I can’t pick you up, go find mommy, go to mommy…..mommy has ice cream!!
maneuvering butt to block child from toilet and pee......(there's more?...how can there be more...!!)
Now all I can think about is how I might be getting a called from some police station in Bakersfield, in 15 years, hearing that my daughter held up a liquor store, all because of the 'peeing incident' when she was 1.