I just found out that a friend of ours is pregnant by "In Vitro Fertilization" (or IVF). Not only pregnant but with twins.
She’s in her late 30’s and like most women the wife and I work with (the ones nearing 40 or older), most are skipping a dude (or partner), adopting from China or Russia, or getting IVF treatment (which by the way - nasty- I didn’t know they had to inject themselves with drugs!?) oh yeah - and order some sperm (some are online from donor guys around the world – kind of like match.com or eharmony but only for the goods.)
Our friend is smart, has quite a head on her shoulders, put a whole lot of thought into this, and there’s no doubt in my mind that she wouldn’t do the best she could and be a fine parent. But from my own experience, 1 kid is really hard with 2 parents at the helm – I can’t even imagine turning that equation around (that's tough for anyone!) I can’t help but feel nothing but empathy for her. I saw a woman at Target today with twin infant carriers and she looked like she needed a few drinks (or vacation) and she was with a dude throwing beef jerky and batteries in the cart near the checkout (by the way- they know men are impulse shoppers by putting that stuff there – I wish they sold men’s underwear that way.)
Later the wife and I were chatting after meeting this friend for lunch -- who is also a pro-woman with a big fancy J.O.B. who could do fine on her own, etc. I asked if she would have done the same if she never “found me” – she replied with “yeah, I think I would have.” Just because she’s always wanted to be a mom and she couldn't imagine missing out on that life experience. But she is more than thrilled not to have to taken that route.
Me? – No, I would have just bought a Porsche, maybe an Aston Martin, and a few embroidered silk jackets with dragons on them.
Growing up I never really considered being a father (as with the vast majority of my single guys friends now.) Now thinking about it about 12 years ago, I was asked once about the possibility by a lesbian friend who was looking for a guy to have a kid with - that was odd even being asked. But no serious consideration even crossed my mind until I met the wife and my whole outlook on life changed. In the single days, I could never have imagined of being a single guy raising a kid if I never found anyone. I had 3 friends in High School who were raised by their Dads and they were all a mess. Actually one of them went on to do porn (so I’ve heard…) Maybe that’s why I was so jaded?
But who knows, maybe as I grew older my paternal outlook (or need to populate the world with another crazy artist) may have changed.
What about all of you -- moms and dads? If you had never met your spouse would you have gone solo?
BTW- Vote! (not only vote, but for vote for me!)
