Well, he’s not the real one but a professional one. So I was talking to this girl (I can’t say ‘woman’ because she’s younger than me like, 26 or 27... [by the way --is that sexist of me?]…) so this ‘young lady-girl’ I work with was telling me about her Dad whose been going to Santa school for 4 years has finally earned his Santa Bachelor’s degree.“Whatchoutalkin’bout willis?!”
I never heard of such a thing. Apparently there’s a real Santa school somewhere back east (Charles W Howard) that’s been around for over 7,418 years! Well not really, more like 70 and the founder was on “Miracle on 34th Street” and is known in the Santa impersonator movement as “the Santa God.” (insert angelic choir)
Apparently this is serious stuff -- They take classes in:
- History and Folklore
- Child Psychology
- Naughty Kids
- Why do mommy and daddy always fight?
- Beard Grooming
- Are you friends with Jesus?
- Reindeer CPR
- Fire and Liability Insurance
I’m looking for that framed diploma on the wall, you know like what doctor’s have in those cheap oak frames. Because seriously I wouldn’t want a doctor without a diploma, why should Santa be the same, right?
(I have no idea how I get into these random topics with people…)