Mother’s Day Coloring Pages That You Won’t Find Anywhere Else

My daughter and I are getting ready for the upcoming mothers day festivities this weekend. We had gone shopping to get a little something for the wife and my daughter picked out some interesting “gifts” for mommy - Lego Blocks, a Power Ranger, a Doll bed...
Basically a bunch of toys that she wanted.

Anyhow, I won’t mention what we got her just yet, but I thought since my daughter loves to color I should make some coloring pages to go along with it.
She, like other 2-year olds her age, wanted to color pictures of Elmo, Butterflies, Unicorns, etc. But I wanted to be a little more unique, so I came up with these:

Lionel Richie: "You’re Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady – Happy Mother’s Day!"

Sophia and Dorothy: "Happy Mother’s Day, Ma!"

Elmo's Mother's Day Unicorn and Butterfly Birthday Party Fantasy

(Feel free to use for Mother’s Day. Click to download)

Can you guess which my daughter chose to give mommy?

Potty Training Idea #87: Coloring Pages That Use "The Power Of The Mind."

The way things have been going there’s no doubt in my mind that I’ll have the first Jr. high kid EVER that hasn't been potty trained.

Recently some friends gave me a dvd called “Potty Power” that did wonders for their 2.5 year-old. She watched it a few times and like magic was “instantly” using the toilet like a 67 year-old running into the house after a visit to Hometown Buffet.
The video is actually quite good. The songs are so catchy that I often find myself singing them in boring meetings at work (“no more diapers for me…yeah, yeah…”)
Unlike other potty videos, kids actually use the toilet in it - imagine that! All while singing, dancing around, yelling “Potty Power” with their arms in the air like Che Guevara revolutionaries.... it's all very exciting.
So exciting that my daughter pooped in her diaper while watching the DVD (hmmm... maybe I should move the TV into the bathroom...?)

While changing her diaper she threw her arms up in the air and yelled “POTTY POWER!!”

Do you think they would arrest me if I duct taped a potty chair to my toddler’s butt?

So now I’ve come up with another creative method – coloring pages. Because really, what toddler doesn’t like coloring pages? Only toddlers whose parents deprive them of basic necessities like clothes, a place to sleep, fried chicken and maybe air.

Here are a few coloring pages that I’ve made to reinforce the use of the potty. Feel free to use these for "the cause":

"Poop in the potty and a magical unicorn will visit" - coloring page

"Every time you poop in your pants, Elmo cries. Don't make Elmo Cry!" - coloring pageWith some duct tape and these -- this potty training business could be pretty easy. How's that for "Potty Power!"...?

HELP! Aliens Abducted My Sweet Baby Girl And Replaced Her With A Toddler!

Hurry! Call Moulder, Oprah, Velma, Inspector Gadget, Antonio Villaraigosa, and maybe even Dr. Spock (you know the one with the elf ears.)

I think the incident happened sometime last weekend; I’m not sure exactly when, maybe while I was sleeping , or ordering some popcorn chicken at KFC (darn you KFC! First my chicken changes and then my kid!) My daughter began doing the most peculiar things - things completely out of the ordinary that were unheard of 2 weeks ago.
The weird part is that she still looks the same, my pleasant little baby girl (perhaps a little taller, less baby dimples around the arms and knees...) with that laugh and smile that makes me melt into a big softy. But now, there’s this shift in attitude as if something takes over her brain and turns it into a demanding teenager -- and she’s not even 2 yet! It just doesn’t make any sense... (head in hands)

---Morning---
(Peeking into her room slowly)

Me: Good morning!
Daughter: (happy. confusion. then eyes turn red) I WANT MOMMY! I WANT MOMMMMMY!!!

(wife comes in calmly, picks her up. still for 2 seconds....hisses at me…)

Daughter: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I WANT DADDY! I WANT DADDY!! (dark clouds form in room, fire engages from mouth, stuffed animals burning in hot lava – starts speaking in latin "Necronomcon ex Mortis…")

---Lunch---

Me: Do you want peas?
Daughter: NO!!!!
Me: O.K.

(3-second pause)

Daughter: I WANT PEAS!! (crying, whining) I WANT PEASsss!! (knocking over things, arms flailing all over the place with no place to go - like a Paula Abdul backup dancer.)

---Bedtime---

Me: Time to brush your teeth..!
Daughter: (Jaguar growl, then climbs the wall on all fours to the ceiling, spewing acid at me below - grabbing towels for protection while Lorena Mckennitt music plays in the background…)

It has to be aliens, right? Or possibly some brainwashing by Elmo (I never did like his whiny voice - he's telling kid subliminal messages - I just know it!!)
Fellow parents, when does it end? I want my baby girl back...