Hello From L.A. Where Everything Is On Fire Except Chuck E Cheese’s

Today had promise. We were meeting two other 1-child couples (just like us) at this really great pumpkin patch that’s been family owned for, like, over 300 years.

This place has to be the ultimate pumpkin patch (Lombardi Ranch) this side of the Mississippi. They have tractor rides, pony rides, live music on 2 stages, ‘real’ farm animals, corn mazes, stagecoach rides, homemade organic-corn, and I think bands like “Huey Lewis and the News” kick off their world tour concerts from this place. Yes, it’s that big.
We’ve been talking about it for days and my daughter was looking forward to it like a Doodlebop was moving into the den. She woke up this morning singing “Pumpkin Patch! Pumpkin patch – hooray!”

Then came the winds. And then the fires – everywhere (this is my one big complaint about living in L.A. – whenever we get winds, everything catches fire!) Our drive over was immediately stopped because the police were evacuating the pumpkin patch. You could see this huge black ash cloud looming over the horizon.

Me: “Sorry, the Pumpkin Patch is on fire…”
Daughter: ((?!?!?))

Note to self – Never tell a toddler that anything is on fire. I guess it could have been worse; I was about to say the animals were on fire.

We met up with the other parents in a nearby parking lot and tried to figure out what to do with a bunch of disappointed kids.

Me: “I guess we can go to that Chuck E Cheese over there?”

Note to self – Never suggest Chuck E Cheese after the first crazy experience we had (read about that here.)

Chuck’s was packed! Obviously everybody else there was on the same boat. Later I wondered if maybe Chuck went out and started the fires himself to boost business (I wouldn’t put that past the rat!)
Overall the kids had fun running around, winning tickets, and jumping (dancing?) to an off-key animatronic rendition of Gloria Estefan's “Rhythm’s Gonna' Get You!” It played twice within 30 minutes (maybe that’s how they clear people out after eating…?)
The only unusual experience I had was running into this 3 or 4 year old girl wearing a t-shirt that said “Full Of Sh*T” on it. At first I thought my mind was playing tricks on me again. But no, it really said that. And from the look of her Mom (ganster? couldn’t have been older than 19 or 20) she was probably proud of her toddler wearing it.
I know these so-called kid attitude shirts are big (I find some entertaining myself) but come on – who buys a shirt like that for their toddler?

That's the kind of stuff that should catch fire (without the kid in it... or any animals.)

Play Dates And Other Couples With Kids: What Do You Do When You’re Stood Up At The Disco?

We were stood up, literally, at a Disco. Now we know what Donna Summer was complaining about all those years (maybe still is?)

We were invited to an event called Baby Loves Disco Saturday afternoon. A few months ago we had gone to this engagements’ premiere with a few other friends and their small kids, which turned out to be a total bust. The concept is pretty cool - mixing once clubbing parents with Gymboree and fruity drinks with Belvedere Vodka. The first L.A. event was held at a stinky place on east Melrose near the 101 – a neighborhood you don’t want to be at even in bright daylight. That old location lacked simple things like air conditioning, soap, and running water (kind of like Tijuana.) The new location is much better – and right near the Chinese Theater and Roosevelt hotel.

A couple had invited us there for a play date; they have one girl around the same age as ours. They’re really nice people we met awhile back shortly after our daughter was born; they recently moved to L.A. from San Francisco. The dad works in the fashion industry and the mom in media sales. We’d like to think that they’re our kind of ‘peeps’ - pretty hip, joke-cracking, and creative people - the only exception being that they dress better – Fred Segal types, while we’re Target ones (not really, but you know what I mean.)
While leaving the Disco it was hard not wondering if something was wrong with the relationship if they decided to skip out on us. I don’t know, did we not call enough? Did I go too far with the La Leche League joke? Did they meet another couple along the way that’s ‘cooler’ or (gulp) watches football!?
The mom had called us after shortly after leaving the Disco; apparently the dad went on a bike ride earlier that lasted longer than he had anticipated – and she was really upset about it. No harm done, we weren’t troubled at all and it didn’t prevent us from having fun (we did, and got some pretty cool freebies.)

One thing I noticed, after we had our daughter, is that becoming a new parent makes you unconsciously seek other couples in the same situation as your own (in our case new parents with one kid.) In some weird way, it's like dating all over again.
It’s not that we’re unhappy with our current friends (all 95% of them with no kids) we still very much enjoy seeing them just as we did before our daughter was born. They’re just like us, except we have a kid. Its just sometimes it’s nice to talk freely about ‘kid stuff’ , like poop shapes resembling celebrities and odd-colored fluids without feeling a little strange.

Am I the only one here?