A Magical Birthday and My iPad 2 with a few ‘Apps for Kids’ Disappears…

To be honest, I was not looking forward to my birthday this year. I mean this past year alone has been the absolute worst health-wise, ever!
A horrible case of chicken pox last summer that left me out of commission for nearly 5 weeks and destroyed my immune system. Multiple cardiologist visits and tests, and then a ‘bout with pneumonia a few weeks ago …it’s just all downright depressing.
Getting old is freaking me out so much now that I find myself always wondering, “What’s going to happen to me this year?” I’ve never been like that.

Some observant friends caught on to this suspicious behavior of mine and invited my wife and I to the Magic Castle in Hollywood to celebrate my birthday. It really was a great start on a road to recovery of some sort.
If you’ve never heard of this place, it’s basically a real-life Hogwarts, except this castle was founded in the 1960’s, not 9th century, with cheesy decorations, and magicians not wizards roaming around entertaining cocktail-attired guests. And maybe about 10 bars just about every 50 feet from each other.
I’m sure if Harry had gone to school there, he would have one serious drinking problem.

The other component of a recovery was getting an iPad 2, with one of those nifty magnetic magical covers on it for my birthday!
I never really understood the full use of this thing – is it taking over the place of my laptop or my iPhone? And I didn’t get one last year because I learned my lesson from buying a 1st generation iPhone in 2007, the 2nd version was 4 times cooler than the original.
I’ve now come to find out that the iPad basically took over all of the time I did read an actual book or maybe magazine before going to bed and even the little TV I did watch. I literally watch no traditional TV anymore (Hulu yes!)

The other 90% when the thing is on my daughter has it. She’s basically taken over the device - desktop, created folders, has her Pandora stations, Netflix streaming set up to watch Scooby Doo, Spongebob, and Strawberry Shortcake. She’s 5! Not even 6 quite yet.

Although, my wife did help her set up YouTube to old musical numbers, and of course, she’s been playing that crazy Smurf game. I swear Apple is marketing to the wrong demographic for this thing - it should really be kids.
The thing is MUCH better than getting a kid a laptop/computer, as in parental controls, and knowing what they’re playing with. And the games/apps I’ve found for it have been incredible. Loads of quality educational, creative, and learning stuff that’s pretty cheap in price.
We were considering getting her a Leapfrog Leapster or even a DS for her upcoming birthday, but that’s pretty much out the door now since those cartridges cost so much ($20-40) and a much better equivalent app in iTunes from $0 to $6.

Some iPad apps I’ve found, so far, to be great for kids (5-7-ish):

1. Math Bingo
2. TeachMe Kindergarten/1st Grade
3. StoryPatch
4. Drawing Pad
5. Learning to Draw is Fun
6. Read Me Stories
7. Toy Story Read Along
8. Angry Birds RIO
9. Fruit Ninja HD
10. Toontastic
11. Sock Puppets
12. Pocket Frogs
13. WordSearch Star Free
14. MathGirl Number Garden (iPhone app running on iPad)
15. Albert HD
16. Stack the States
17. Netflix
18. NASA App HD
19. Smurfs (my daughter insisted I put that on my list, just make sure you turn in-App purchases OFF. Settings/General/Restrictions, “Enable Restrictions”, In-App purchases “OFF.”)

Now that my daughter is finally asleep, I can finally play Words with Friends HD! By the way, if you play I’m “GjertsonB”…

If Age Doesn’t Kill Me, This Will...

There’s just nothing that beats going into work and getting a surprise KFC lunch buffet birthday party by my co-workers.

And knowing the Kentucky Fried traditionalist that I am, none of this “grilled chicken” business was even on the table. Yes, these people know me well. Nothing but the Colonel's own invention's of extra-crispy, original, popcorn chicken (in little theater popcorn buckets), and a birthday candle planted in mash potatoes on top of a bucket of chicken - just the way they still celebrate birthdays in Kentucky and maybe central Ohio.
What more you say can a guy ask for?

How about the best birthday gift ever created:

KFC Double Down

2 original recipe fillets, swiss and pepper jack cheese, Colonel’s sauce , and (mouth-watering about now)…. Bacon!

I wouldn’t wait in line for an iPad, but I’m sure going to be waiting outside KFC Monday for this piece of heaven.
And then the rest of the year I'll be on a diet of just grapefruit, lettuce, and rocks just so I can eat another Double-Down next year.

So This Is What It Feels Like When Doves Cry…

(It’s that time of year again; my annual letter to my daughter on her birthday.)



Miss Bean (or as you now call yourself “Princess Sunshine Sparkles”),

Happy 3rd Birthday! I can’t believe how fast this past year has gone by. It amazes me how much you’ve changed in so little time; the transition from a baby to a beautiful, smart, and clever little girl with a strong personality still completely fascinates me.


A few things I’ve enjoyed this past year watching you grow:

• Drawing on the driveway with chalk together, making up funny roads, games, and monster characters.
• Hearing your stories about your imaginary friend “Captain Hippo."
  
• Playing Wii (Duck Hunt) together and yelling “Ah man!” right after I yell “Ah man!” among a few other unfortunate things your mom shouldn't know about.
  
• Helping me with small chores around the house such as loading the dishwasher, caring for the dog, and taking out the trash. I hope you still like doing chores next year.
• Paying the cashier for lunch at some restaurant with the 4 pennies you found on the ground while saying “it’s OK daddy, I pay for it with my money’s”
• Listening to you sing your interpretation of songs over, and over, and over again.
• Cooking in your play kitchen, making me guacamole soup and chocolate tea for breakfast.
• Driving by a KFC and you yelling out "Look Daddy! Yummy chicken place!!" (that would bring a tear to any colonel's eye...)
  

Your favorite things at this moment:

Dressing up as a princess, sparkle roll-on, Disneyland, watching movies on my iPhone, popcorn (or "crackcorn" as you call it), making “art”. DVD’s Enchanted, Tarzan, Cars, Incredibles, Lilo & Stitch, Cinderella, Mary Poppins, Dumbo, and Rambo (just kidding! That’s one of my favorites.)

Putting you to bed tonight on the eve of your birthday made me realize how much I’m going to miss you at 2. But at the same time I’m really looking forward to what new adventures and memories we'll have together at 3.

Love,
Daddy

Happy Birthday to… Me! When Did I Get So Old?

I’m another year older, and the sad part is that my wife had to remind me of my exact age because whenever someone asks I always say 21.
Actually I think I’ve been saying that line since I was 17.

Anyhow, Birthdays around my house don’t last for just one day, they last the entire weekend.
This year, without a doubt, had to be one of the best I’ve had in a really long time thanks to my wife, friends, and family. It all started on Friday with co-workers bringing in fancy cupcakes, balloons, and some completely unexpected gifts including some custom printed Lionel Richie cocktail napkins from a design that I had fashioned as a joke awhile back and hung on my office wall:

“tonight, we gonna’ have a party”

These are definitely going to be a staple at every party I have from now on, along with of course, a bucket of KFC.

Then Saturday a few close friends made an amazing Greek dinner spread complete with a homemade Reese’s peanut butter cup ice cream cake. And if that wasn’t enough check out a small sampling of the gifts:

Gary Coleman (Arnold) Toddler Shirt

For my daughter to wear. I swear she does this “whatchoutalkin’bout willis” stance nearly every time she gets in trouble.

Colonel Sanders’ Tijuana Picnic - LP

((speechless))
Can I just say how awesome my friends are? I’ll be sharing more of this swingin’ album soon.

Sunday (actual birthday) we made a trip to Disneyland with some family including my brother and his kids, all of whom I haven’t seen in well over a year. That place wore me out; I swear they need to open a ‘sleep ride’ somewhere in there for parents (and old people) like me can just take a snooze.
And it didn’t end there; today I took the day off of work to spend with my daughter - a tradition I’ve started ever since she’s been around. And the best part, I got to take a 2-hour nap while she was taking hers… pure heaven.

Seriously, I wish I could nap everyday. Then I could be dreaming of those swingin' KFC picnics in Tijuana, with the Colonel lounging by a nearby tree. And then when I wipe my mouth with Lionel Richie napkins I could tell him "Look Colonel, Lionel's got some chicken crumbs stuck in his mustache!"
Then we'd laugh and eat some more popcorn chicken.

Easter 2007: Party Like It’s 1999

Easter weekend was fun – on Saturday the wife organized a small get-together for my birthday with some close friends. Eating delicious fancy Thai food (thanks Michele!) among a bucket of KFC AND “party-sized” Popcorn Chicken (that’s right - “party-sized”), drinking fancy wine, making Martini’s (fruity ones like pomegranate – a “real” mans man’s drink…) and mixing just about anything that was liquid with Vodka (thanks Rick!) that makes an old guy like me want to fall asleep by 8:30 (and then sleep-in until 12 the next day – sorry Jesus.) Oh and did I mention a small crowd of kids, including my own, running around nearly eating stuff off the floor (it was clean- so it’s all good, right?)
I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday (Note to Colonel Sanders: Make the party size popcorn chicken MUCH bigger.)

Easter was another experience. I went solo, with the daughter, to my family’s annual Easter Egg Hunt and Steak BBQ Extravaganza (yeah, that’s what it's really called) while the wife was at home doing homework for her GMAT prep class.
Last year my daughter had no idea what was going on, so the only festive ‘kid-thing’ she did was take a picture with the Easter Bunny (who she just looked at with no reaction.) This year -- well, let me just say, she has discovered those plastic Eggs have candy in it. She was practically smashing the things on her forehead trying to get the M&M’s or Jelly Beans out. There’s nothing like a shivering kid with a messy face repeating “Yummmmmmy…(heh, heh, heh….)” like a mad scientist while occasionally shaking her butt (the wife must have taught her that.) When we got home, I had to remove the contraband (while her back was turned playing with the Easter Basket) and eat it all just to make sure it was permanently removed from the premises (while shaking my butt.)

Because I know I won’t be able to get away with that move next year without a fight.

Sketches Of The Kid, Married For How Many Years? And Things I Want On My Birthday (Friday)

I know I haven’t posted any sketches or drawings of my daughter in awhile – I haven't stopped sketching her, the wife, strangers (I still enjoy that) it just takes a little more effort posting the things. Here are some recent “quick sketches” (in charcoal on newsprint) while the observing her play...and the only ones that don’t have any crayon scribbles on them.

Yesterday, the wife and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary (wow, that really seems like a long time just writing it down.) Like most parents with a toddler, whose anniversary's land on a school night, we had dinner (take-out) at home with lots of cocktails after the kids’ bedtime (this is one of the drawbacks of not having any babysitters, or family nearby -- the two of us getting out for alone time.)
I still remember thinking at our wedding, “wow! I’m actually getting married – to her.” Now it’s, “wow! I’m actually married to her and we have a kid…!” It's still pretty amazing.

In case I haven’t mentioned it enough, Friday is my birthday. I was debating taking the day off of work like I’ve done in the past (last year I took the kid to the Getty for the day, just she and I, which was really fun.) But I’m a busy and I'm feeling a little guilty about taking time off.

Here’s my list of things I want this year (because I’m suppose to be getting wiser…):
1. KITT from Knight Rider (it’s for sale)
2. A hidden place to nap for an hour, after lunch, at work (I dream about this everyday...)
3. A Colonel Sanders white suit with matching white beard and wig (to wear on Fridays or to wear when going through the KFC drive-thru.)
4. World Peace (because I hate going through security at airports these days.)
5. iPhone (so I can make calls to KITT while looking really cool)
6. One weekend getaway with just the wife (maybe to see Tom Jones in Vegas – again, like we did in the old days...)
7. My daughter to be potty trained…